I've been asked more times than I can remember which NFL team and which MLB team I root for. And for as long as I can remember, I've supplied one answer for both of those questions. "Chiefs and Royals", I say without a moment of hesitation. What usually follows is one of three things: 1) Laughter 2) The response of 'Really? That blows" or 3) "Wow, why don't you pick a new team to root for?"
I don't mind the laughter, because as a fan of the Chiefs and Royals, you laugh at the teams yourself when you watch Bruce Chen blow a 6 run lead in the 7th, or when Brandon Carr drops an easy INT/TD and the Chiefs end up losing by 4. I also, don't mind the 'Really, that blows" comment either because I know it blows to be a Chiefs/Royals fan. We haven't seen a playoff victory since 1994 and haven't seen a championship since 1985. So yes, it does blow to be a Chiefs/Royals fan. But, when someone tells me to pick a new team to root for, that's when I get pissed off. People that change teams like socks really, really make me furious. Why? Because most of the people that do LOVE to rub it into the faces of Royals/Chiefs fans that they root for a winner and we root for two teams that are worse than seeing Abe Vigoda naked. Braves fans of the 1990s? I hate you. Yankees fans of.... forever. I hate you even more. Patriots fans? I hate you the most. I didn't see you bragging about being a fan of that team when they were 1-15 in the early 90s but now? You tell EVERYONE how great your team is and how badass Tom freaking Brady is. I'm staying as a Royals/Chiefs fan, bitches. I want to be happy when my favorite team finally wins, not so numb to it that it doesn't even matter. I want to cheer loudly when Bruce Chen finally makes it out of an inning without giving up a run. I want to high five random people in my section when Jamaal Charles scores a Touchdown to seal the victory that gets us to the Super Bowl. I want to be happy when the Royals finally make the playoffs. So, go fuck yourself, people who tell me to change teams all the time or change teams yourself. I'll stick with my teams until they win. Which they will. And I'll rub that shit in your face so hard you'll smell like a hobo in the summer.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Happy Birthday.
RANDOM BLOG!!! YES!!!!
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I've found that it's impossible to not use an exclamation mark when wishing a Happy Birthday in written form. You HAVE to use an exclamation mark or else the wishing doesn't seem excited or sincere enough and it basically makes you look like you don't give a shit if they have a Happy Birthday or not. For instance, a Facebook friend of mine had a birthday recently and I went to his wall to give him some birthday wishes. But, since this friend isn't one of my best friends, I didn't feel it would be appropriate to use a "!" because I didn't want him to get any ideas that we were suddenly BFFs. But after writing just "Happy Birthday" by itself in the submit area, it seemed like it was missing something. A simple period wouldn't suffice (Happy Birthday.), since that would look like I was wishing him just a mediocre birthday and thus making me look like a complete douche. I didn't want to use a comma after the "Happy Birthday" then have to follow up the "Happy Birthday," with something like "you fag!!" or "drink one for me!!" because then I'd be using the exclamation mark and it would defeat the entire purpose of not using one after the birthday wishing. So in the end, I decided to just put the fucking "!" in there after the "Happy Birthday" and move on with the feeling of being completely and utterly annihilated by the powerhouse English language.
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I've found that it's impossible to not use an exclamation mark when wishing a Happy Birthday in written form. You HAVE to use an exclamation mark or else the wishing doesn't seem excited or sincere enough and it basically makes you look like you don't give a shit if they have a Happy Birthday or not. For instance, a Facebook friend of mine had a birthday recently and I went to his wall to give him some birthday wishes. But, since this friend isn't one of my best friends, I didn't feel it would be appropriate to use a "!" because I didn't want him to get any ideas that we were suddenly BFFs. But after writing just "Happy Birthday" by itself in the submit area, it seemed like it was missing something. A simple period wouldn't suffice (Happy Birthday.), since that would look like I was wishing him just a mediocre birthday and thus making me look like a complete douche. I didn't want to use a comma after the "Happy Birthday" then have to follow up the "Happy Birthday," with something like "you fag!!" or "drink one for me!!" because then I'd be using the exclamation mark and it would defeat the entire purpose of not using one after the birthday wishing. So in the end, I decided to just put the fucking "!" in there after the "Happy Birthday" and move on with the feeling of being completely and utterly annihilated by the powerhouse English language.
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