Movies!!!

Movies are awesome. AWESOME! And following this opening there will be a list of my ALL-TIME FAVORITE movies!! Hooray!! However, this list isn't one of those lists where I act like a douche and name a bunch of foreign and "old-timey" movies that I'm supposed to like because everyone else does. No. These are the movies I don't get tired of, no matter how many times I watch them. Even if they're on regular cable with all the fun words bleeped and "formatted to fit my screen and the time allotted".

TOP 10

10) The Boondock Saints (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144117/)

What's more badass than two guys blowing the heads off of criminals AND being religious while they do it? Nothing, except maybe if Morgan Freeman and Sam Jackson were the two guys doing all the killing.

9) PCU (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110759/)

"Don't be that guy."

8) The Natural (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087781/)

Here's all I have to say about this movie:

7) Rock Star (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0202470/)

I think it's just the soundtrack that I love about this movie, because Mark Wahlberg isn't that great and I'm not a big fan of Jennifer Aniston, but I can watch this thing ALL THE TIME. Once, I actually saw it starting on HBO and said, "Rock Star!?! No way!!!" But, most of all, it's this part:

6) Field of Dreams (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097351/)

This is a great baseball movie and most people remember the "if you build it, he will come" line. But personally, I remember the flickering scoreboard telling them to find "Moonlight" Graham and the final scene of the movie (stop reading here if you haven't seen it) when Ray asks his Dad, "You wanna have a catch?" Tears me up every time.

5) Full Metal Jacket (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093058/)

The first half of this movie is so awesome, if they canned it up and sold it, it would cost $45 an ounce. THAT is pure awesome, my friends.

4) Monty Python and the Holy Grail (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071853/)

I'm just going to leave you with this scene, and that should suffice:

3) Big (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094737/)

Seriously, Tom Hanks is lucky that Zoltar didn't screw up his "big" wish and make him insanely fat. Like 'John Goodman post-Roseanne' fat. I could probably watch this movie once a week for the rest of my life and not get tired of it. I am not going to attempt this, however.

2) Rudy (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108002/)

If you don't tear up during the final sequence when Rudy finally gets to play then gets a sack and gets carried off the field, I'm not sure I want to be friends with you. It happens to me EVERY SINGLE TIME. Actually, I just did a little watching this clip:

1) The Shawshank Redemption (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111161/)

Morgan Freeman is possibly my favorite actor of all time. If he could have narrated my text books while I was in school, I'd be some sort of doctor. This movie is the best thing known to mankind, in my opinion.

Andy Dufresne - who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.

Honorable Mention:

Anchorman

The Dark Knight

Step Brothers

300

The Big Lebowski

Office Space

The Goonies

Rain Man

For Love of the Game

Suicide Kings

The Hurt Locker

Apollo 13

Coming Soon: My Least Favorite Movies

Through the Eyes of ACF

I'm getting off work at 10pm a few weeks ago and I head to the local Wal-Mart near my house, in a semi-bad part of town, or the "Ghetto Wal-Mart" as I have dubbed it, to pick up some blank CDs. As I pull in, the Wal-Mart parking lot is packed to the brim and looks like I imagine the parking lot of 'Biff Tannen's Pleasure Paradise' (http://tinyurl.com/2clm8l2) from "Back to the Future 2" would look. Anyway, I'm chatting up my momz as I pull in since she had to ask me something, and the first thing I hear as I open the door is a car alarm. Not a good start to the trip and since my mom can hear it in the phone, she thinks I've stumbed into the local jail or I'm heading into Compton. But not 10 feet later, I hear some guy in a wife beater yell, "Hey, watch out, yo!" and as I turn to see what the ruckus is, I see him rear back and PUNCH THE SIDE OF A CAR. Smacked it like Muhammad Ali. Right in the baby maker.
I guess he thought the car backing up 10 feet from him was going to run him over, so he felt like teaching it a lesson and punched it. Now, I've never punched a car, nor known anyone who has done it, but I'm going to assume it doesn't feel like punching a delicious marshmallow. Anyway, as this is happening I'm trying to do play-by-play to my mom while being subtle as to not piss off the car puncher and all I can say while holding back laughter is, "Some guy.... just...... seriously..... punched a car!" So, I end the conversation by telling her I may need to fend off attackers and should probably have two fists to do it with. She agrees, and I quickly grab what I need and scramble out of there to the safety of my car.
I've never been to jail, but I have to imagine that what I witnessed tonight is what life in the yard was like for Andy Dufresne in Shawshank.

True Story.

The End.