Movies!!!

Movies are awesome. AWESOME! And following this opening there will be a list of my ALL-TIME FAVORITE movies!! Hooray!! However, this list isn't one of those lists where I act like a douche and name a bunch of foreign and "old-timey" movies that I'm supposed to like because everyone else does. No. These are the movies I don't get tired of, no matter how many times I watch them. Even if they're on regular cable with all the fun words bleeped and "formatted to fit my screen and the time allotted".

TOP 10

10) The Boondock Saints (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144117/)

What's more badass than two guys blowing the heads off of criminals AND being religious while they do it? Nothing, except maybe if Morgan Freeman and Sam Jackson were the two guys doing all the killing.

9) PCU (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110759/)

"Don't be that guy."

8) The Natural (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087781/)

Here's all I have to say about this movie:

7) Rock Star (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0202470/)

I think it's just the soundtrack that I love about this movie, because Mark Wahlberg isn't that great and I'm not a big fan of Jennifer Aniston, but I can watch this thing ALL THE TIME. Once, I actually saw it starting on HBO and said, "Rock Star!?! No way!!!" But, most of all, it's this part:

6) Field of Dreams (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097351/)

This is a great baseball movie and most people remember the "if you build it, he will come" line. But personally, I remember the flickering scoreboard telling them to find "Moonlight" Graham and the final scene of the movie (stop reading here if you haven't seen it) when Ray asks his Dad, "You wanna have a catch?" Tears me up every time.

5) Full Metal Jacket (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093058/)

The first half of this movie is so awesome, if they canned it up and sold it, it would cost $45 an ounce. THAT is pure awesome, my friends.

4) Monty Python and the Holy Grail (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071853/)

I'm just going to leave you with this scene, and that should suffice:

3) Big (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094737/)

Seriously, Tom Hanks is lucky that Zoltar didn't screw up his "big" wish and make him insanely fat. Like 'John Goodman post-Roseanne' fat. I could probably watch this movie once a week for the rest of my life and not get tired of it. I am not going to attempt this, however.

2) Rudy (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108002/)

If you don't tear up during the final sequence when Rudy finally gets to play then gets a sack and gets carried off the field, I'm not sure I want to be friends with you. It happens to me EVERY SINGLE TIME. Actually, I just did a little watching this clip:

1) The Shawshank Redemption (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111161/)

Morgan Freeman is possibly my favorite actor of all time. If he could have narrated my text books while I was in school, I'd be some sort of doctor. This movie is the best thing known to mankind, in my opinion.

Andy Dufresne - who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.

Honorable Mention:

Anchorman

The Dark Knight

Step Brothers

300

The Big Lebowski

Office Space

The Goonies

Rain Man

For Love of the Game

Suicide Kings

The Hurt Locker

Apollo 13

Coming Soon: My Least Favorite Movies

Through the Eyes of ACF

I'm getting off work at 10pm a few weeks ago and I head to the local Wal-Mart near my house, in a semi-bad part of town, or the "Ghetto Wal-Mart" as I have dubbed it, to pick up some blank CDs. As I pull in, the Wal-Mart parking lot is packed to the brim and looks like I imagine the parking lot of 'Biff Tannen's Pleasure Paradise' (http://tinyurl.com/2clm8l2) from "Back to the Future 2" would look. Anyway, I'm chatting up my momz as I pull in since she had to ask me something, and the first thing I hear as I open the door is a car alarm. Not a good start to the trip and since my mom can hear it in the phone, she thinks I've stumbed into the local jail or I'm heading into Compton. But not 10 feet later, I hear some guy in a wife beater yell, "Hey, watch out, yo!" and as I turn to see what the ruckus is, I see him rear back and PUNCH THE SIDE OF A CAR. Smacked it like Muhammad Ali. Right in the baby maker.
I guess he thought the car backing up 10 feet from him was going to run him over, so he felt like teaching it a lesson and punched it. Now, I've never punched a car, nor known anyone who has done it, but I'm going to assume it doesn't feel like punching a delicious marshmallow. Anyway, as this is happening I'm trying to do play-by-play to my mom while being subtle as to not piss off the car puncher and all I can say while holding back laughter is, "Some guy.... just...... seriously..... punched a car!" So, I end the conversation by telling her I may need to fend off attackers and should probably have two fists to do it with. She agrees, and I quickly grab what I need and scramble out of there to the safety of my car.
I've never been to jail, but I have to imagine that what I witnessed tonight is what life in the yard was like for Andy Dufresne in Shawshank.

True Story.

The End.

Kansas City Fan

I've been asked more times than I can remember which NFL team and which MLB team I root for. And for as long as I can remember, I've supplied one answer for both of those questions. "Chiefs and Royals", I say without a moment of hesitation. What usually follows is one of three things: 1) Laughter 2) The response of 'Really? That blows" or 3) "Wow, why don't you pick a new team to root for?"
I don't mind the laughter, because as a fan of the Chiefs and Royals, you laugh at the teams yourself when you watch Bruce Chen blow a 6 run lead in the 7th, or when Brandon Carr drops an easy INT/TD and the Chiefs end up losing by 4. I also, don't mind the 'Really, that blows" comment either because I know it blows to be a Chiefs/Royals fan. We haven't seen a playoff victory since 1994 and haven't seen a championship since 1985. So yes, it does blow to be a Chiefs/Royals fan. But, when someone tells me to pick a new team to root for, that's when I get pissed off. People that change teams like socks really, really make me furious. Why? Because most of the people that do LOVE to rub it into the faces of Royals/Chiefs fans that they root for a winner and we root for two teams that are worse than seeing Abe Vigoda naked. Braves fans of the 1990s? I hate you. Yankees fans of.... forever. I hate you even more. Patriots fans? I hate you the most. I didn't see you bragging about being a fan of that team when they were 1-15 in the early 90s but now? You tell EVERYONE how great your team is and how badass Tom freaking Brady is. I'm staying as a Royals/Chiefs fan, bitches. I want to be happy when my favorite team finally wins, not so numb to it that it doesn't even matter. I want to cheer loudly when Bruce Chen finally makes it out of an inning without giving up a run. I want to high five random people in my section when Jamaal Charles scores a Touchdown to seal the victory that gets us to the Super Bowl. I want to be happy when the Royals finally make the playoffs. So, go fuck yourself, people who tell me to change teams all the time or change teams yourself. I'll stick with my teams until they win. Which they will. And I'll rub that shit in your face so hard you'll smell like a hobo in the summer.

Happy Birthday.

RANDOM BLOG!!! YES!!!!

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I've found that it's impossible to not use an exclamation mark when wishing a Happy Birthday in written form. You HAVE to use an exclamation mark or else the wishing doesn't seem excited or sincere enough and it basically makes you look like you don't give a shit if they have a Happy Birthday or not. For instance, a Facebook friend of mine had a birthday recently and I went to his wall to give him some birthday wishes. But, since this friend isn't one of my best friends, I didn't feel it would be appropriate to use a "!" because I didn't want him to get any ideas that we were suddenly BFFs. But after writing just "Happy Birthday" by itself in the submit area, it seemed like it was missing something. A simple period wouldn't suffice (Happy Birthday.), since that would look like I was wishing him just a mediocre birthday and thus making me look like a complete douche. I didn't want to use a comma after the "Happy Birthday" then have to follow up the "Happy Birthday," with something like "you fag!!" or "drink one for me!!" because then I'd be using the exclamation mark and it would defeat the entire purpose of not using one after the birthday wishing. So in the end, I decided to just put the fucking "!" in there after the "Happy Birthday" and move on with the feeling of being completely and utterly annihilated by the powerhouse English language.

Kansas City Chiefs 2010 NFL Draft

Rundown of the 2010 NFL Draft for the Kansas City Chiefs

1st Round:

5) Eric Berry, S, Tennessee


2nd Round:

36) Dexter McCluster, WR, Ole Miss


50) Javier Arenas, CB, Alabama


3rd Round:

68) Jon Asamoah, OG, Illinois


93) (via trade w/ Houston) Tony Moeaki, TE, Iowa
The Chiefs gave up picks 102 and 144 to trade up for Moeaki.



4th Round:

zero picks

5th Round:

136) Kendrick Lewis, S, Ole Miss


142) Cameron Sheffield, OLB, Troy

Random Blog Time!!!

Well, since it's been boring in Chiefsland the past few weeks and I've had nothing to comment on, it's time for a RANDOM BLOG!!! HOORAY FOR YOU!!!
In these blogs, I'll just write about a random thing. Anything at all. Here goes:


I'm a really angry driver. Whenever I'm driving around the town I get pissed at the other drivers for no reason other than the fact that they are in my way when I'm trying to get to where I'm going.
Going to slow? GO FASTER YOU BITCH!! YOU'RE GOING 31 IN A 35!!!
Going to fast? WTF YOU CRAZY BASTARD!! YOU MIGHT KILL AN INNOCENT CHILD WITH YOUR ERRATIC DRIVING!! You'd think I'd be happy with people going the exact same speed as me, but no. I get even more pissed at them because they'll just sit there, driving right next to me like they're plotting some evil way to run me off the road. So, then I have to speed up just to slow back down so I won't be driving right next to them anymore. Also, when I'm driving around in the afternoon on a weekday, at like 2pm, I'm always wondering why the hell there are so many people out driving around on a weekday in the middle of the damned afternoon. I always yell, "What the hell!! Doesn't anyone have jobs anymore? Go to work you lazy bastards!!!!!" Then I realize that I'm not at work, but I have a job so I feel like everyone else is probably saying the same thing about me. I also get really pissed at stop lights when people don't hit the accelerator EXACTLY when the light turns green. "PAY ATTENTION AT THE DAMNED LIGHT!! THIS ISN'T "SEARCH FOR MY LOST PEN IN BETWEEN THE SEATS" TIME!!! I WANT TO GET TO KFC AND BACK HOME BEFORE I HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP IN 10 HOURS!!! HURRY THE HELL UP!!!"
Maybe I have road rage.

Sad day.....

A few days ago I found out something so sad, it would make a puppy cry real people tears. One of the best QBs in Chiefs history called it quits. This guy probably the highest completion percentage of any Chiefs QB in history (87.5!), easily the best Chiefs career QB Rating (145.8!) and his yards per rush average (27.0!) has to be tops in Chiefs history for QBs (this is a blog, I'm not going for 100% accuracy here, folks). The thing is, the Chiefs CUT this guy and he had to go play in the UFL (what's that!) to finish his career! Who is this amazing man, you say? Well, it's none other than the immortal Quinn Gray. Who was 7-8 with 1 TD/0 INT and 1 rush for 27 yards in his only appearance for the Chiefs in 2008. He didn't even get sacked! (Take some notes Matty C) It's a sad day in Chiefs land, but wish him well. He's doing what all other Chiefs immortal QBs wish they had the resume to do: become a high school Head Football Coach. We wish you well Quinn Gray. You powerhouse of stats.